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Highlights From My Diary

June 5th 2023

May 23rd 2023

October 3rd 2022

February 6th 2007

Dear Diary

I saw a rainbow today. I’m worried the sky is trying to groom me. I’d like to ban rainbows from nature. It’s just unnatural. What if children see them? Every time I ask Alexa how to ban rainbows she plays Somewhere Over The Rainbow, so now I believe she is in cahoots with the drag queens. I don’t know what to do, I’m going to see if my Magic 8 Ball will be any help. 


Thanks for listening, Diary!

Dear Diary,


Tomorrow I'm going to make history by announcing my candidacy on TWITTER!!! It's gonna be wild. Elon is a genius and I can't think of a better way to show America how smooth and ready I'll be as President! Gotta go, Elon just returned from Best Buy with some extra hardware for the interview. Who needs those stupid tech dummies when Elon can handle it on his own.

Dear Diary,

OMG! Casey bought me THE most AMAZING white boots I have ever seen!!! We have a stupid photo-op for some hurricane blablabla today so guess who is going to look sharp??? THIS GUY LOL!!!!!

Dear Diary,

About to go to the cages and use a super aggressive tactics to get these prisoners to eat. it's not gonna be pretty but torture never is! I'll try not to take any photos ROFL!!!!!!

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