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About Me

Hello America. Let me start by saying that I'm the worst candidate for president that you could possibly imagine. 


My experience in politics consists of racism, misogyny, fascism, and much more. I realize that my base agrees with me, but I'm reaching out to you undecided voters. The ones who are still "on the fence." Pay attention, because this is gonna get good.


As a candidate for president let me tell you one of the many things I don't understand is women. They're always complaining about something. Equal pay, reproductive rights, sexual harassment. It's like, can't they just be happy with what they have? They have the right to vote, what more do they want? OH, to choose what to do with their bodies?? Fuuuuuck that. It’s important to me to make sure decisions come from old white men. I will never look at women as anything more than vessels for babies n shit. Sure, when I’m President I’ll hire a couple of women advisors to “tell me what to do.” And if they start complaining, I'll just nod and smile and pretend like I'm listening, like I do with my base.


And don't even get me started on teachers. They're always complaining about how they're underpaid and overworked. But let's be real, they get summers off. How hard can their job be? Children aren’t that integral to our society. Now, I know some of you may be thinking, "Why is this even a topic for discussion? Our children are our future, and they deserve the best." And to that, I say, “Let's not get carried away here." I'm not what you would call a "kid person." Frankly, I don't really understand them. They're loud, they're messy, and they always seem to be demanding something. And let's be real, what do they even contribute to society? They can't vote, they can't work, and they can't even drive.


I’m just being honest. And as your potential leader I think it's important that I'm transparent about where I stand on this issue. Because the reality is, if I were to become president I wouldn't prioritize children, unless they’re black, then I'd focus on more pressing matters, like keeping them under control and unaware of the past.


Under fascism, we will have a strong, centralized government that can make the tough decisions necessary to keep our country safe. Some people might call fascism oppressive or authoritarian, but that's just a smear campaign by the liberals and the globalists. They want you to believe that fascism is evil. I urge you to embrace fascism. Eradicate the Gays, Liberals, Mexicans, Blacks, Women that make their own decisions, and anyone in the media who asks tough questions. 

All of this. Everything you just read. That is me. That is who I am. That is what I want my followers to be. It's not about you. It's about power. The more power I have, the quieter you will be.

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